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(5 May)  Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone!!

Had a bit of a rough week myself, thanks for asking!  As such, I hardly did any work on Bruno.  I don't know about those of you out there who are also dealing with depression, but I find the mornings are the absolute worst for me!!  I'll wake up a few hours earlier than I normally get up, and the Bad Thoughts start in almost immediately.  I toss and turn and can't get back to sleep, and gradually grow more miserable as the morning goes on.  I get up because I can no longer stand staying in bed and thinking this way.  (I know, I should get up as soon as I wake up, but alas, right now, that's easier said than done!  But I'm working on it!) Any sort of activity I find helps calm my thoughts, so I try to keep as busy as possible. I'm currently re-reading the David Burns book I mentioned below, and one thing the good doctor points out is that when you're stuck in a rut, motivation follows action, so even doing a little of some task you set for yourself is often enough to motivate you to stick with it, and in the process, you'll feel at least a little better about yourself.

Last Monday, I gave up all the Pepsi I've been swilling, and junk food I've been scarfing down.  Instead, I've been drinking V8 juice, orange juice and water, and snacking on fresh fruit, vegetables, and even whole wheat bread and margarine.  You might think that this sudden change in diet is part of the reason I had such a rough week, but the fact is, I haven't missed the Pepsi or the junk food in the slightest!  I'm actually glad to be rid of all that crap!  In truth, I lost my taste for Pepsi (and Coke) years ago, and had only been drinking the stuff out of habit.

I've been exercising as well.  For one thing, when I'm at my drawing board or computer, or even if I'm in my room reading or watching TV, at the top of every hour, I'll do a bunch of push-ups.  This is a habit I started a few years ago, mainly because it helped ward off a bad back due to too many hours at the drawing board, but kind of gave up on over the past few months.  Now I'm back at it with a vengeance!

I've also been getting out every day, rain or shine, for a good brisk walk, ranging from 20 to 40 minutes.  But I'd like to do more.  God help me, I'm seriously considering taking up jogging!  This is something that would never have crossed the mind of a lazy slob like me even a few weeks ago!  I think it's something I'm ready for, and I seriously think I'll be able to stick with it, assuming I start out slowly, and work my way up to a regular routine.  The fact is, these days, my body and mind are craving exercise and healthy food.  I'm afraid if I don't listen, my depression will worsen.  Anything to give me an edge over the Bad Thoughts, I'm taking!

One thing that's inspired me to consider jogging is a Stephen King novella published last year, entitled "The Gingerbread Girl".  The story revolves around a woman named Emily, who, shortly after the death of her baby daughter, takes up running as a way of coping with her grief.  But Emily doesn't just jog; she runs with a maniacal fervor (e.g. running around a neighborhood track until she falls down puking).  While a good story, what Mr. King leaves out is the fact that if Emily were a real person who did this, there's a very good chance she'd suffer a serious leg/ankle/foot injury, or even a heart attack.  That said, I can now appreciate the desire to push my body to its limits, as one way of coping with my grief.  But if I overdo it, I could end up in a hospital bed with an injury and plenty of Bad Thoughts for company.  I will say that what brought on my current crisis was sort of a "mental 9/11" if you will.  I could get all political here, and talk about the (ongoing) response to the real 9/11, but I'll just say that by keeping tabs on the news, I think I have a better idea of what, and what not to do, in order to respond to my personal 9/11... 

Oh, and since nobody has taken it upon themselves to hit me over the head with a rubber chicken as I requested last week, I'm putting my Self-Help Guru hat on one more time, as I realized I left something out of the list below:

10. Avoid like the plague people who are always belittling you, making you feel bad about yourself, etc.  Better to have no friends/family/spouse/etc. than people like that in your life!  You don't need 'em, and cutting them out of your life will make you feel ten times better!  If for the time being you can't avoid these people (classmates, cow-orkers, etc.), keep the following in mind: nobody better than you will ever make you feel bad about yourself, if you've never wronged them!  God how I wish I had known this while growing up!  Such toxic people are miserable inside, and their goal is to bring you down to their level of unhappiness.  They are to be pitied, not hated.

Once again, thanks to all of you who have sent me e-mails, especially those of you who are also dealing with, or have dealt with, depression, and how you're coping/have coped with it.  Again, my apologies to those of you whom I've yet to respond to , but I haven't forgotten you.  I love hearing from you all, and are grateful for your messages, even those of the "buck up and stop yer whinin'" variety! ;-)

That said, if you haven't already, you may also want to send a note of sympathy to my friend and fellow web cartoonist Maritza Campos of College Roomies From Hell!!!  fame.  According to her Livejournal blog, she is going through a very tough time of her own right now, and I'm sure she can use all the support and encouragement she can get!  And apparently, there's something up with PVP's Scott Kurtz!  Hmm, it almost seems as if 2008 has not been a good year for webcartoonists...

Finally, just a reminder: I'll have to censor the past several weeks' worth of columns once I get back to looking for "real" work (hopefully within a week or two), so don't be surprised when they suddenly vanish.  Employers cannot legally discriminate against those with depression, but many can and do when they can get away with it.  And I admit, I wouldn't be helping my case by leaving the last several weeks' worth of columns on my site.  Maybe I'll find a way to hide these columns elsewhere on the site, where most employers won't bother to look.  I'll keep you posted.

(28 April) The road to recovery, bumpy as it is, continues!  Did some more work on Bruno this week, but I haven't been able to get back into the routine that will allow me to produce 3 strips every week.  But I'm getting there.  I apologize to those of you who e-mailed me recently, but whom I've yet to respond to.  I haven't forgotten ya, I promise!

My biggest problem is, and perhaps has always been, my brain, and the way it thinks!  It tends to downplay all the positive aspects of my life (and there are plenty!) and focus almost entirely on the negative.  As well, I tend to imagine all sorts of worst-case scenarios, when it comes to what the future will hold for me.  I have been doing my utmost to challenge these ways of thinking, but overcoming a lifetime of these bad thinking habits is proving to be quite the challenge.

Part of the problem is that I sometimes feel like a walking bowl of regret.  I had a rough childhood, and it affected the decisions I made as I grew up.  The first strike against me was my mother dying when I was a baby.  I never knew my mom, and I can't help but wonder how things would have turned out had she lived.  My father certainly did the best he could to raise my sister, two brothers and me. 

I had huge self-esteem problems growing up.  As such, I never dated as a young adult, I wasn't able to complete the university degree I was trying for, and finding work has always been difficult for me.

But I have made huge strides in dealing with the past.  I wish things could have turned out for the better, but now I don't blame myself so much for how things went down.  I mean, I'm sure almost everybody looks back on their past and realizes they could have done better in some ways, and I'm no exception.  But for the most part, I can say I did the best I could with what I had!  I mean, how could I ask a girl out, or apply for a job, when I didn't have the self-confidence necessary to do so?  As such, there are a few things I'd like to impart to any readers who may be going through the problems I went through as a young person:

1. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
2. Learn to love yourself!  Nobody is more worthy of your love than you!  This doesn't mean becoming an egotist, just realizing that you are a good, decent person!
3. You are worthy of all the love, success and happiness in the world if you seek them out honestly and morally.
4. Forgive yourself!  You're human, so it was inevitable that you'd make mistakes.  And if you've wronged others, ask their forgiveness.
5. Take good care of yourself!  Eat right, exercise, and $#!+, shave, and shower regularly.  The better you feel physically, the better you're gonna feel mentally.  In fact, this is something I need to work on!  I've decided to cut out the Pepsi and junk food, and figure out an exercise routine that's right for me.  The three S's I think I pretty well have under control. ;-)
6. Don't neglect your spiritual life.  Even if you don't believe in "God", you can believe in, and live for goodness and love, because there is no question about their existence!
7. If you feel your problems are too much for you right now, seek professional help!  There is no shame in admitting you might have a mental illness, and if you do, you owe it to yourself to get the help you need.  Talk to your doctor.  Don't put it off another day!
8. Our thoughts can often control, our moods, not the other way around, as we so often assume.  If you are suffering from depression, I recommend you learn about cognitive therapy!  One of the best books on the subject is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, by David D. Burns.  This is a book I need to re-read, in fact.
9. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!  I MEAN IT, DAMMIT!!!!

Good God, I'm a cartoonist, but I'm starting to sound like a self-help guru!  Quick, somebody whack me over the head with a rubber chicken before it's too late!!!

(21 April) First things first: this week, I got back to the drawing board, but was not able to produce as much as I normally would in the run of a week.  Still, it felt good to work on some new material for Bruno, as it helped take my mind off other things.  As I say, I'm hoping to go back to a 3-strip-per-week schedule within a few weeks.  But I am probably going to cut back on the number of double-sized strips I put out.  For one thing, I find my single-sized strips seem to pack more punch.  For another, they take less time! ;-)

I'm also hoping to try to keep my strip a little more light-hearted.  I think at times I've been a little too heavy-handed in what I've been trying to say through the strip, and it could be the sort of thing to turn people off, even those who may agree with my point of view.  Not that the strip won't "pack a punch" from time to time, but I'd like to soften the blows with a cushion of silliness.

As always, thanks to those of you who've sent me e-mails of support recently.  A special thanks to those of you who have sent me money via PayPal.  But be careful ya don't spoil me!  I swear, I earn more through donations when I'm not working on the strip than when I am! :-)  If I haven't responded to your e-mail yet, don't worry, I haven't forgotten you.  I'm just dealing with my "other stuff" at the moment!

I should also take this opportunity to thank my family, who have been rock solid for me, and my girlfriend, who has been very patient and understanding at this time!  I love you, Danielle!  Thanks for everything, babe!

I was hoping to do more work on Bruno this weekend, but the truth is, Saturday and Sunday were downright brutal for me!  I couldn't even get out of bed on Saturday, as all my problems seemed magnified by a factor of ten.  Sunday I felt a little better, but not by much.  My appetite the weekend has been virtually nonexistent, and I'm losing enough weight as it is.  I figure it's possible my recent downturn may be due to a new medication my doctor prescribed for me on Thursday.  Gonna check with him today.  Fortunately, I live in a city where all sorts of help is available to people with problems like mine, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get myself out of this current rut.

One of the first things I've decided to do is quit watching Battlestar Galactica!  I watched the latest episode last on Saturday night, and it did nothing to improve my mood!  Made me feel a little worse, in fact.  The last ten minutes or so were almost too painful to watch!  The show is just too bleak, too oppressive, too hopeless!  I know some people enjoy that, but for me, this sort of "entertainment" is poison these days!  I'm guessing for the series finale, the Galactica crew will get to Earth, only to find it overrun/destroyed by the Cylons, and every character in the series, human and Cylon, will die in the most horrific way imaginable!  Nope, give me the original Battlestar Galactica I watched in the late '70's, which was downright happy-go-lucky by comparison!

(14 April) Hey gang, how's it going?  I think (and hope) the worst is over for me, but I ain't out of the proverbial woods yet. First things first, I just gotta say, you guys are the best fans in the world!  Your e-mails of support and sympathy at this time have meant the world to me, and I can't thank you enough for them.

Alas, I have not been able to return to the drawing board just yet.  I just haven't been in the mood to do so.  I'm hoping to give it a go this week some time, but I make no promises.  As such, it may be at least 2 or 3 more weeks before I can resume the current story. Again, my apologies, but thanks as always for your patience and understanding.

I had to quit my current job, as inventory cler-- associate.  Which really sucks, as I actually liked the job, and the people I worked with.  But it was time to move on, alas.  If there's anyone from the Sin John's branch of WIS reading this, say hi to everyone at work for me, and don't hesitate to drop me a line, if you'd like!  Already, I miss you guys like crazy!  Hope the company doesn't fall apart, now that I'm no longer around to keep everyone in line!

Some positives to report: I am getting the help I need, and am feeling a little better every day.  The support of my family and loved ones has meant the world to me!  And though I quit my job, I will not be hurting financially, at least not for a while yet.  For one thing, I'm now back to processing t-shirt/merchandise orders for Sluggy Freelance.  Mega-thanks to Pete Abrams, and Tom and Kim Ricket for taking me back!  For another, I received a cartooning job offer from one of my readers, which I'm mulling over.  Thanks, Joyce! :-)  Finally, I checked my earnings for banner ad revenues for March, and I made even more than I did for February.  Doubt I'll earn much for this month, but if I can get my sorry ass back to the drawing board, earnings for May and beyond should be pretty good.  This is why, as I say, if I can get over the current cluster#&%$, I'd really like to go back to a 3-strip-a-week schedule for Bruno.

That said, once I feel up to it, I'm probably going to look for at least a part-time job, to supplement what income I do earn from my online ventures.  That said, once I get back in the job hunt, I'm probably going to have to censor all these cluster#&%$-related postings, as well as any comments about my current problems on the Bruno forum.  Of course I wanna mention Bruno on my resume, but if any prospective employer visits this site, and sees that I'm a human being who actually has personal problems, well, my chances of getting hired will rapidly drop to zero!  I wish there was a way around this, as I'd like to keep the Tribune as truthful as possible, but this site is a showcase of my work and talents such as they are.  Perhaps during the job hunt, I'll "censor" the Tribune, but once I'm hired, I'll re-post everything.

Anyway, thanks as always for being here for me, folks!  You guys are the best, and I luvs ya all!!

(7 April)  I'm starting to wonder how long it's gonna be before any of you are left to keep reading my pithy excuses as to why there's one stupid delay after another these days, when it comes to putting out this strip.  If you're getting fed up, I can't say I blame you.  But the truth of the matter is, gang, the rough patch I alluded to in the last post has turned in to a full-scale cluster#&%$, which makes last year's crisis look like the proverbial frolic in the park!  But I promise, I am getting the help I need to get through this current horror show.

The good news is, I'm hoping I'll only need 2 to 3 weeks off before I can continue with the current story.  Even more good news is that I am thinking of going back to a 3-strip-per-week schedule.  I got my first check from my banner ad revenues just this week, and it was a lot more than I expected.  During my time off, I plan to do as much work on Bruno as possible, as 'tis most therapeutic.

The not-so-good news is, I can't assume there won't be more cluster#&%$s aimed straight up my bee-hind, even after I deal with this one.  But if God is merciful, hopefully there won't be any more for, say, another century or so...

(24 March) Looks like I'll be sticking with my original plan of cutting Bruno back to once a week after all.  My apologies for getting everyone's hopes up, but for the time being, continuing to do 3 strips a week just ain't do-able.  There are a couple of reasons for this.  First, taking over and managing my own ads isn't quite the money-generator I had hoped it would be... at least, not yet.  Shortly after I signed on with ADSDAQ, the money was rolling in at a steady clip.  Nothing to live on, of course, but the initial results were most encouraging.  Then, to use an old Newfoundland expression: "The arse fell out of 'er!"  Meaning, for the first week or two, I was bringing in between $15-20 daily, then my revenues dropped to $3-$5 daily.  I tried adjusting my asking rate for ads, but nothing seemed to help.  So I've since set my asking rate to $3 CPM (where I started) and have left it.  Actually, last I checked, I am earning a little more on a daily basis, but again, nothing to get excited over.

Secondly, I have not, as of yet, been approved for any more ad networks (not counting Project Wonderful, which I applied for several months earlier).  I've applied twice to BurstMedia, but have been ignored both times.  I suppose I should have tried applying to other networks, but I've been lazy.  And feeling kind of discouraged.  The fact is, I am going through another rough patch (i.e. struggle with depression) these days.  Fortunately, it's not as bad as what I went through last year, though these days, it's all I can do to get my ass out of bed in the morning (or afternoon, as the case may be).  Nonetheless, I should be able to stick to a one-strip-per-week schedule for the time being.  And as promised, they'll be double-sized strips from now on.

Furthermore, my current "real" job as part-time inventroy cler-- oops! associate is still keeping me busy these days, and this includes the occasional road trip around the island, which can keep me away from the drawing board for days at a time.  In fact, later on today, a number of my counting compadres and I will be visiting the teeming metropolises (metropoli?) of Marystown and Grand Bank to tackle some heavy jobs, and we shan't get home 'til Wednesday.  Well, the newspaper ad I responded to way back in September of last year promised "opportunities for travel"...

'Tis odd, though: on days I'm scheduled to be working, I can hardly wait for my days off, mainly so's I can stay up all night and sleep in the next day.  Yet I find I feel more depressed on my days off than days I am working.  I suppose in some ways it's a good thing that my inventory job is less stressful than the rest of my life.  But you think I'd have learned by now that staying up all night and sleeping in til noon or later is not the best habit to keep.  But common sense has never been my strong point, especially when it comes to sleeping in.

Anyway, for the time being, I'm going to be sticking to a once-a-week schedule, but if I find I'm getting ahead in my work, I'll throw in a bonus strip or two per week every so often.  As for going back to color, for now, I think I'll keep the strip black and white.  A couple of you have volunteered for the job of Bruno's colorist (you know who you are), and I do appreciate the offers.  But the thing is, I knew Lynn quite well, and as such was comfortable having her as colorist.  I just don't feel comfortable handing the job over to someone I don't know as well as I know Lynn.  What do you, the readers think?  Should I find a new colorist, or do you like seeing the strip in black and white again?

And lest ye be worried, this is NOT the "beginning of the end" for Bruno.  I'm still having fun with the strip, and don't see any reason to quit just yet!  And some time this year (maybe some time this summer, if all goes as planned), I want to make a simplified version of the Bruno the Bandit board game available for download for a small (though optional) fee.

Furthermore, there is another Bruno-related project in the works, and I gotta say, I'm pretty darn excited about it!  'Tis too early for details just yet, but when this thing gets off the ground, it should rock!!!

Finally, mucha thankies to all of you who have been voting for Bruno on the Buzzcomix Top 100 and Top-Web-Comix 100 lists (and a special thanks to Lord Mastan for talking me into putting the vote buttons on my site).  My thanks as well to those of you who did a write-up about Bruno, and posted it on the web.  This includes a post by Edward Smallwood, on his MySpace Blog, and a post by Jim "Singing Gremlin" Teasdale on The Escapist magazine forum (but ignore the dissenting opinions below... ;-)).

(6 February) I don't wanna get anyone's hopes up (least of all my own), but it's possible I may end up sticking to my 3-strips-per-week schedule after all!  Heck, if conditions are right, I may end up doing more strips per week, like the good ol' days!  But I'm getting ahead of myself here...

Here's the deal: late last year, the folks running Keenspot decided to change the way the 'Spot is being run, and have given us cartoonists (almost) complete control over the advertising on our own sites, if we want it.  At the time all this was announced, I admit I wasn't too impressed.  I wasn't going to bother to take care of my own ad banners, as I figured there wouldn't be much point.  My site wasn't making much money anyway, and I wondered if the headache of managing my own ads would even be worth the few extra dollars I might earn in the run of a year.

Since then, I've changed my mind, as you may have noticed by the new ad placements on my site.  I hope you don't mind the skyscraper ad now parked next to my strip, but hey, that ad may very well help keep Bruno alive!  Anyway, after I read on the private message board for Keenspot cartoonists how much money some of them have been making by managing their own ads compared to how much they used to make, I realized I'd be a damn fool if I didn't at least try to set up a new ad system on this site.  And from what I've seen so far, there's really not a lot involved in managing my own ad banners.  It wasn't much more difficult than setting up the Project Wonderful ad you see to the right of this article.

I'm still planning to take the next six weeks off, but while I'm "away", I shall be running the bonus stories from the three Bruno books published by Plan Nine.  These six weeks will determine Bruno's future. (Fortunately, I think the three bonus stories are all pretty darn good, if I may say so myself.)  As well, I hope to make some changes to the site, in order to make it more appealing to you the readers.  If I am making good money under the new ad system, then I will happily stick to my current 3-strips-per-week schedule.  What do I mean when I say "good money"?  Well, if I'm earning enough so that drawing Bruno plus working as a part-time inventory clerk is enough to earn me a decent living, I'll be happy.  Heck, if I end up earning really good money, I may just quit my inventory clerk job, and concentrate on working on Bruno full time (perhaps even going back to 5 or 6 strips a week).  But if it turns out that I'm not making all that much more than I was under the old ad system, then I will stick with my original plan of reducing Bruno to a one strip per week schedule.

Still, I'm cautiously optimistic that this may be the turning point for Bruno!  And to increase the odds, I'm asking for your help!  I've always believed that word-of-mouth is the best form of advertising, which is why I'm asking you, Dear Readers, to help spread the Word of Bruno!  Is there someone you know who might enjoy Bruno the Bandit as much as you do?  Please, tell 'em all about it, and send 'em the link!  Do you have a website or blog?  A nice write-up about Bruno on your site would be a big help!  In fact, if you give us a decent write up on your site/blog/whatever, send me the link, and I'll post it in the next Rothland Tribune!  It doesn't matter if you have 5 readers or 500,000, a nice Bruno write-up will get you a link on this here site, and in the process, maybe gain you a bunch of new readers too!  And what the hey, if you did give us a nice write-up some time in the past, send me the link, and I'll include it here as well, as my way of saying thanks!

Come on, people!  Let's make 2008 (and every year therafter) the Year Of Bruno the Bandit!!  I really don't want to have to work for a living....

(4 January) If you haven't seen this thread on my message board, Lynn has announced she is stepping down as Bruno's colorist.  You could say that Life has gotten in the way on her.  She needs to look for "real" work (i.e. a job that actually helps pay the bills), and as such will have no time left over to color the strip.

I am saddened by Lynn's decision, but I certainly understand why she needs to move on.  I only wish I was able to pay her what she's truly worth.  But I want to take the opportunity to thank Lynn for all her hard work over the past few years.  Lynn, you really added a new dimension to the strip, and you will be sorely missed.  I wish you all the best in the future, and hope that you land yourself a good job really soon!  Take care, and don't be a stranger!

That said, I'm afraid I have a similar announcement to make, regarding the future of Bruno the Bandit.  As with Lynn, Life is getting in my way too, and I no longer have as much time to spend on the strip as I'd like to.  As such, once "Soul And Squoddle" wraps, I'll be cutting back production of the strip to once a week.  Bruno did not pay Lynn's bills, and it's not paying my bills either these days, I'm afraid.  At the moment, I do have a job as an inventory clerk, and the next two months are going to be terribly busy for me, apparently.  As well, I've applied for, and from what I understand, I have a pretty good shot at a job as a graphic artist/sign shop assistant.  So, either way, I'm going to be very busy with "real" work for, well, hopefully a good long time.  And like Lynn says in her message, I too am not the most energetic person in the world, and if I'm working full-time, I doubt I'll have much energy left over for Bruno.

The fact is, I have considered ending the strip outright.  A friend of mine told me that going to a one strip per week schedule will just about kill the comic anyway.  Well, perhaps I'll lose the majority of you, and I'll be sorry to see any of you go, but the truth is, I want to keep working on the strip for my sake.  There's something addicting about working on this strip.  It has been an exercise in frustration at times, as I haven't been able to reach a bigger audience (the blame for which I fully accept), but in spite of it all, drawing Bruno is still very rewarding to me, and I'd probably feel this way even if nobody else read the strip.

Still, part of me feels I'm letting at least some of you down, and for that, I'm truly sorry.  The thing is, I did not do enough to promote my comic strip, and I have only myself to blame for its limited success.  I thought that drawing the comic strip on a regular basis would automatically lead to a large audience, but that's not the way things work.  My idea was to let the companies I was affiliated with (Keenspot and Plan Nine Publishing) handle the business aspect of things.  But they are not to blame, as I overestimated in what I thought they could do for me.  I just wanted to draw comics.  But, that's just not enough if you want to make a living as a webcartoonist.

After "Soul And Squoddle" wraps, I will be taking some more time off, either to get through the busy season with my inventory company, or get used to my new job in a sign shop.  But there will be new (for most of you, at least) material published, as I plan to run the bonus stories that appeared in my first three Bruno books.  Once I'm back, I'll try to do every strip double-sized, in order to squeeze in as much action and laughs as I can.  And I'll try to update the Tribune more frequently.  As always, thanks for reading, and most importantly, thanks for your patience and understanding at this time!

(28 November) I've been following with some interest the so-called "New Atheism" movement that has arisen over the past few years.  Said movement is spearheaded by bestselling authors Richard Dawkins (The God Delusion), Christopher Hitchens (God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything) and Sam Harris (The End of Faith), among others.  And if you have even a passing acquaintance with the Internet, you'll know it's pretty big here too.  I like to visit "headline" sites such as Digg and Reddit, and it seems that every third or fourth story (particularly on the latter) is about atheism, or criticism/bashing of religion. What's interesting is, almost every day on these sites, you'll see stories with headlines such as "Atheist group vows to destroy Christianity", or "Religion the cause of all evil, says prominent atheist", or "Believers are gullible morons, incapable of rational thought, dress funny and have bad teeth, according to latest atheist bestseller".  Then every so often, you'll see a headline like "Atheists least trusted group in America, often face discrimination."  Golly gee, ya think there might possibly be a connection here...?

Of course I'm not suggesting discrimination against atheists is a good thing.  Far from it!  But right now, unfortunately, the "New Atheism" movement seems to be led by those who are far from tolerant themselves.  Telling us that religion is "poison", faith is a "virus that must be eliminated", and that those who believe in God are "delusional" ain't exactly blowing kisses to the faithful.  I can't help but wonder if these attacks on religion haven't led to a backlash against all atheists in America, even the majority of nonbelievers who are of the "live-and-let-live" variety (i.e. the non-religious as opposed to the anti-religious).  Perhaps the backlash leads to more non-religious becoming anti-religious, which causes the anti-atheist backlash to increase, keeping the vicious circle growing at a steady clip.

That said, there's no doubt the current attacks on religion (and heck, almost all attacks on religion down through history) are caused by everything that is wrong with religion, as opposed to the things that religion gets right.  I mean, if Christians actually lived Christ-like lives, and had done so for the past two thousand years, I doubt there'd be much of a backlash against Christianity today.  Our faiths are supposed to be beacons of spirituality, but if anything, spirituality in religion has been oppressed, if not stamped out altogether, as those in control of our religions often seem more concerned with acquiring as much money and material goods as possible and gaining power over others.  You can have spirituality without religion, but religion without spirituality is just another way of controlling people.

So what do I mean when I talk about spirituality?  I define it as "faith, tempered by reason and wisdom, and fuelled by love".  That said, I wouldn't consider myself 100% spiritual.  I have a long ways to go yet, alas.  And yes, I think one can have faith, and have it tempered by reason and wisdom.  Using reason and wisdom, we think about what we believe.  I think it is reasonable to believe in God, though, I admit, a leap of faith is required.   That said, I don't believe everything I've been told about God, I don't believe that there's only one religion out of the thousands on this earth that is the right one, or everything in our Holy Books are Literally True.  In fact, our Sacred Texts can be an inspiration to us, but it can be downright dangerous to take everything in them literally.

Nonetheless, I know there are those who would still look down their nose at me for not being "rational" for having faith.  Well, I regard them with the same amusement as I would some religious fundamentalist who might regard me as a "sinner".  Anyway, I'se not trying to convert anyone here, folks!  In truth, it'd take way too long to explain exactly what I believe.  In fact, I consider what I believe to be a "work in progress".

Anyway, even atheists can be spiritual, according to my my definition, at least.  I mean, if I was offered irrefutable proof that God didn't exist, I would still believe in, and live for goodness!  Don't think anybody out there would seriously argue against the existence of goodness, I'm guessing.  Is anyone gonna tell me that faith in goodness, tempered by reason and wisdom and fuelled by love is a bad thing?  Then again, according to a scamp named Charlie Brooker, "If you've ever described yourself as 'quite spiritual', do civilisation a favour and punch yourself in the throat until you're incapable of speaking aloud ever again."  Hmm, change "spiritual" to "liberal", and voila, we have a scamp named Ann Coulter!  Anyway, dunno if I can even say I'm "quite spiritual", but I think I shall leave my throat intact.  Sorry, civilisation!

I'll admit, I haven't read the above-mentioned atheist bestsellers.  I've read some reviews of these books, and interviews with some of the authors, and, well, I suspect for a gullible, soft-headed believer like me, reading these books would be about as pleasant as having the stomach flu.  Now before you pounce on me for criticizing these books without reading them, I think it is fair to remind you that, when critics of The God Delusion took Richard Dawkins to task for not reading up on the best-known books on theology, Dawkins responded by saying "Do you have to read up on leprechology before disbelieving in leprechauns?"  Hmmm, I wonder how the good Professor would respond to a Creationist who, after penning an anti-evolutionist tract, said "I know evolution is claptrap [i.e. "leprechology"], so I didn't need to read any books about it!"?  Anyway, I don't claim these ramblings are a review of these books.  I'm just taking a look at the phenomenon that's inspired them.

I doubt these books contain much of a welcoming message to those of us on the other side of the fence.  From what I've read (and perhaps I've read wrong), the authors of these books have taken an Ann Coulter-style "take no prisoners" way of dealing with those with whom they disagree.  In other words, don't find common ground with your "enemies", never say anything good about your "enemies", and attack, attack, attack!!  As such, the authors of these books seem to me to be every bit as unhappy as Ann herself is.  (That said, I'm not gloating about that!  I'm sorry that so many leaders of the "New Atheism" movement seem so goshdarn bitter.  I honestly think they'd be far more effective if their criticisms of religion weren't soaked in venom, and if their main message was about the neato benefits of Secular Humanism.)

Here's the deal: I admit I may be wrong about what I believe.  I know I'm a flawed in-duh!-vidual, and could use some serious guidance as I try to wrangle my way through the rest of my life.  But I know that nobody whom I should admire and look up to is going to insult/browbeat/belittle/scorn me into becoming a better person.  Sorry, Ann Coulter, Christopher Hitchens, Fred Phelps, your tactics don't work.  Those who inspire me would never hate me, though they may criticize me.  Those I have looked up to have always inspired me to live life in a more positive way... only a few have ever suggested I destroy any of my body parts for civilisation's benefit.

And even if everything about religion is wrong, I still don't believe that hating religion/believers is the answer.  Throughout history, hatred has never solved anything, and in fact, has caused nothing but problems (and yes, much of this hatred has been fuelled by religion).  Hatred is not a virtue, folks!  Never has been, never will be.  Well, okay, I hate the SOB who cut me off in traffic this afternoon, but other than that, hatred is WRONG!!

But believe it or not, I think the New Atheism movement may be a good thing for society as a whole.  It challenges those of us who believe to think about just what we believe.  It  casts a bright light on many of the more flawed aspects of religion.  It may well force us to ask whether we're going to keep all the negative crap that is bringing down organized religion (the literal interpretation of our Holy Books, the corruption, the fear of sex, the belief that Mine is the One True Religion while all others serve Satan, etc.), or if we're finally going to let all that stuff go.

In closing, I'd like to introduce you to someone I do admire: a gentleman who didn't believe in a personal God, nor in the soul, nor in any sort of Afterlife.  A man who embodied the best that Secular Humanism has to offer, yet who understood and appreciated religion/spirituality far better than, well, most so-called "religious" people do.  I am of course referring to Albert Einstein, and I cordially invite you to check out the Einstein and Religion page.  Don't miss what he had to say about atheism and about Jesus, but of course I recommend you read everything on this site.  If only Einstein were alive today, in order to bring some much-needed rational thought to the current pro- vs. anti-religion debate.  And to see if Ann Co-- Oops! Charlie Brooker would have the balls to tell him to punch himself in the throat until he could no longer speak! ;-)

Okay, enough heavy stuff!  Time to lighten things up around here again, with a pair of links you might be interested in.  Firstly, if you enjoyed Henrik Magnusson's recent Bruno filler story "Crisis Of Infinite Brunos", be sure to check out his new webcomic Nr 101 and Other Weird Tales.  The cat takes a hyper-energetic, chaotic Underground Comix style and uses it to turn the superhero genre inside out!  Don't miss it!