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Clonin to Tour Rothland
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by
Earvin R. Howard
Fresh from his recent whirlwind
tour of the Hyperborean Kingdoms, world-renowned reaver Clonin the Barbarian
today announced that he would be making a stop at Rothland on his way to
pillage the fabled treasures of Kush. Clonin, whose adventures have
been chronicled in books, comics, feature films, and Saturday morning cartoons,
has become a household name for his bravery, integrity, and honor in an
age of decadent commercialism. Just what are this wild-maned bullock's
plans for his stay in Rothland? "Well," he told |
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my
new breakfast cereal."
As an afterthought, he added,
"Oh....And I plan to kill Bruno the Bandit."
As yet, there has been no
response from the legendary Bandit on this statement, but Clonin fans can
rest assured that they are in for a good night's reaving from this iron-thewed
berserker.
Sounds like good entertainment
to me. |
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staff
reporter Samoth Yor, "I plan to tread your jewelled kingdom under my sandaled
feet, crush your citizens and see them driven before me, and hear the lamentation
of their women, do some sightseeing and promote |
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Classifieds and Personals
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CONCERT
tickets for sale, for the upcoming Sour Ron show at the Rothland Forum.
Half price!! Previous owner dragged screaming into the flaming pits
of Hell! Serious inquiries only.
MISSING! One royal
crown. Last seen adorning the royal pate. Finder please return
to King Xerxes castle. This item has tremendous sentimental value.
One package of Pokemon cards offered as reward.
OCTAVIA! Beloved!
I miss you....come home and all will be forgiven. -Delevan
WEREWOLVES causing you trouble?
Town plagued by lycanthropes? Try SILVER ARROW werewolf spray.
Knocks 'em dead, and it's ozone friendly! |
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STOP THE SLAUGHTER!!
Millions of trees are being massacred to produce paperback copies of Bruno
the Bandit, a collection of comic strips, no less!! Help stop the
insanity by putting a copy of this book in every home as soon as possible.
Order yours for just $12.95 from www.brunothebandit.com
UNTALENTED HACK seeks cartoon
work. Will work for sandwiches. Have own hammer. Contact:
Erchan the Barbarized, second ditch past the rubbish bin.
WANTED! One virgin
for magical ceremony, deflowering, ritual sacrifice and light housekeeping.
No counterfeits. Apply in person to Rashaverak.
THE END IS COMING!!!.....Oh...
wait....it's here. |
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HELP
WEAR BRUNO OUT!!
Bruno the Bandit T-Shirts
are now available for $17 US each.
Order online at: www.brunothebandit.com!!
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On
to Page 4 |